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September 24, 2005



Lucky people, feel glad you only live once after all i am 25 and never had sex =(


I am also a 14yo girl and my boyfreind talked me into haviing sex when I was 10 and he was 12. Now I am pregnant (36 weeks) agian with twins and I have a 15 month old girl. So don't have sex.


I'm a 13yo girl who is 33 weeks pregnant with twins. My boyfreind and I started to have sex when I was 12 and he was 13. We did have sex after school every day untill I fell pregnant. Now I wish that I did not have sex at all.


Great thoughts, thanks! I totally agree.

Heather W.

I am so glad that you are one of those who try to minister to teens and yet aren't totally oblivious to what it prevalent in their culture.

Yet, no one (especially parents) should be all too surprised at what the statistics have shown. That is, if anyone would simply do their homework/research on any given day/night of the week by watching "teen" television, listening/reading lyrics to their music, being involved & talking (but mostly just listening), they might have already seen these stats coming. After all, statistics are hindsight--they tell us what has already happened in the last year. While, on the otherhand, trends in teen culture are apty expressed in current media directed at teens. AND the media is targeting younger & younger audiences!

I see this same kind of thing in my family because my brother is a teenager (and the last child living at home for the last 10 years). I see that my parents are slowing letting him slip away from thier realm of influence and letting the world of pop culture win his appetite and direct his heart. I think this is happening in our family, for the most part, because my parents don't "try" to know what's there. They think it is just enough to bring him to church for the Godly, righteous enfluence and that he'll see the Light--that in the end, he'll want to do what's right. In talking to my parents, I mainly hear them say something like, "My son's a good kid, he knows what's right and wrong, we're doing are best, he's not into that, he's not like the others..."

In working with teens at our church and talking with their parents, I hear the same things. Some seemingly "concerned" parents, don't want to see their kid as anything but fairly good--they want see their kids in the best light. Sure there is bad stuff out there, but in comparison they don't view their kid as ever being "that bad."

But it isn't about who's bad and who's worste. What _is_ bad is the battle field, or the "playing field" as it ought better be called. Their are soo many different directions, enfluences, distractions that are baiting teens away from their true calling (namely, to love God, grow in Christ and reach out). Parents seem to want to know what the bait is, but at the same time (when it comes right down to it) they either don't want to know or don't want to believe...And so for the most part they ignore. It's that fight or flight, and most parents unawaringly choose flight.

This is most evident when, after I've stepped into the teen culture for a while and have seen and heard, I go to my parents and I ask them, "Did you know [teens are experimenting with bisexuality]...have you seen such & such on basic tv or watched [Date My Mom] or watched what's on [MTV] or cable/satelite...or rented this movie...did you hear this song or heard of this band..." And after they quickly get over their initial embarrassment, they chime in "No, but my son doesn't watch or do or listen to that." Which, unbeknownst to them, quite the opposite it true. It drives my crazy how naive parents can be!

But what is a parent to do? I say get informed, get engaged, and then _guage_ them!

Don't deny or be closed minded about what is out there, but be abreast of teen culture.

Then, engage and ask the teenager what he thinks or why or why not this and be very intentional about listening.

Then, don't be too intimidated about guageing their exposure or time on the playing field. Don't allow them to stray too far or wander around. I seen it all too often that teens are left alone on the playing field: with just themselves and the media or with too much peer influence. I think this comes from a parent's anxiety of nurturing a teen: parents want to love and be loved and respected and so they'll compromise on certain issues to get their teen's favour returned. Instead, _insist_ on boundaries/rules and _limit_ their exposure to teen culture and even teen friends, especially bad peer enfluence. Don't allow your teen to get misdirected or misguided or distracted. Hold them close; don't let them go too far. Parents must initiate and assert their enfluence always trying to redirect them back to what is Godly. I think parents discredit themselves too much. They forget that it's _their_ job to "know" and to tend and minister and to _protect_. Yes, teens are preparing to go out into the world, but let's not allow them to go out that door too soon. Somehow parents are being told/led to believe/pressured to let go and let live. But, parents should not lose sight of what _is_ their job and that it is their for only a little while longer and not all that much sooner. And then, youth workers are better able to come along side the parent and be another nurturer and posative influence.

Here's another article to read on the topic:

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